Here's a shorty, shorty.
It's Diwali in a week yeah... It's a nice festival this one. Like with most other festivals I'd be saying 'darn here it is again... frivolous exuberant displays of devotion... more discord to public harmony not to mention the goddamn dirt and pollution....' And yes, I know Diwali is ALL of those things, dhanteras is just an excuse to go buy that new car you wanted, and get this there's a small Diwali and BIG Diwali and there's no difference!
You're just supposed to eat sweets and burst crackers on both days. Then there's Bhaidooj, another opportunity for evil sisters to rob me of my money (wasn't it Raksha Bandhan like a week ago?? I still haven't recovered financially... It's a global crisis I hear.)
But it's still Diwali you know, it's like you're going to be let on to this big secret. It's pretty sweet - the anticipation. Never mind that in one of those look-at-me-I'm-so-brave moments a cracker blew up right in my face. Never mind that when I was a kid, an older kid took all my rockets as his own. Never mind that a Singapore Airlines plane was held up for 2 hours because my sleep's more precious to me than some country's flight schedule!
Oh the last one's about Diwali too yeah and it's a story worth telling for sure.
Precisely seven Diwalis ago, I'm sitting my ass in Malaysia. I still don't know what got into my parents for sending me on that school trip. What? Did they expect me to be responsible and not sneak out of our hotels at night? tch tch. But my various escapades in foreign lands shall need another blog and another one of your lifetimes. Hence, I shall briefly narrate the events the way they played out on that fateful Diwali and I guess that'll give you some insight about my tryst with my sleep. My sleep... my precious... we likes it don't we? my precioussss...
we'll have to stick with the time funda again. So well, in short, here goes:
13/11/2001
8 pm
Instruction: "OK everyone, let's call it a day, now everyone of you go off to sleep by 9.30 pm. Make sure you're packed and that there's nothing left behind. Everyone shall assemble in the lobby at 4.30 am. We leave at 5.15. There will be no noise in your rooms after 9.30 pm, now good night."
Yeah... rite.
13/11/2001
10.30 pm
Instruction: previous one still holds, but we didn't give a fuck now did we?
Well, our flight was at 7.20 am, so we never really got what all the fuss was about. (we were in the 8th grade, immigration was too long a word for us back then)
We're all packed and pretty bored at around 10 pm. Once the 'check' were done with... Oh yeah, they 'checked' to see if we've slept or not, apparently if your door is knocked upon and you're not asleep, you'll open it and then you'll get caught - not sleeping.
But we worked around that brilliant scheme somehow, and 10.30 types we sneak away to the restaurant, and then the buffets free for guests, so we uhm... dug in.
14/11/2001
1 am
Instruction: seriously????
We're quite full, as anyone would be after a delightful and free midnight buffet.We decide to now call it a night and probably go sleep. In most hotels abroad you can only enter a room if you have the access card, which you need to swipe on the door. But due to a sudden sense of insecurity we decide that the entry cards arent good enough for us and manually latch the door. We thus felt safe from any attack by some random Malaysian Kung-fu fighter and slept like street dogs with full stomachs should. I know what your'e thinking.... Malaysian Kung-fu fighters can easily break down doors, but hey! eighth grade!
14/11/2001
3.45am types
Instruction: "Hello, hello... Shobhit?? this is a wake-up call, you're the only one whose picked the phone up on your floor, get ready quick and make sure you get everyone else too"
Now here's the thing about me:
As a lot of my friends would know, it isn't very difficult - waking me up. But getting me out of bed, especially when I don't want to (and I hardly ever want to) is pretty much impossible. And the best part is, that people who try to wake me up are thrown off gaurd by my sudden display of alertness. In the words of a friend, it's like some arbit African tribe, they're pretty much war-ready when woken up even from the deepest slumbers, I don't like the analogy much either, but it's all I have.
So it's no surprise that by the end of our conversation, this teacher of mine thinks I've been awake from the past half n hour doing my dailies, whereas yours truly was back asleep before she thought any of those things.
14/11/2001
6.00 am
Instruction: "OPEN THIS FUCKING DOOR!!!!"
I dunno if I really heard the f word. I was very sleepy. That alert-from-sleep thing hadn't been perfected then, I had no idea what was happening. I could hear accented voices,"We can't do anything with the spare access cards, Sir, the door is latched from the inside." I must admit, at that point I felt sooooo smug :D
But admidst the smelly smugness, that African war-ready thing took over and I had opened the door, blocked out all the shouting from my Principal, kicked my roommate off his bed, brushed my teeth put on some better clothes all in the span of some 15 odd seconds. I think this must've astonished even my Principal for he didnt really say anything as I escaped with all my luggage, discreetly. Meanwhile, in the red zone while I made a hasty exit my roommate was just lumbering off the floor shouting,"what the fuck! what the fuck!", and I don't know what happened after but that's when my roommate took one for the... uhm... team.
6.12 types I'm in the lobby with the rest of the pack. I'm getting the 'look' from them all. But my dear friend, who'd just minutes taken a bullet for the 'team' walked in with baggage n all at 6.30, visibly having gotten his hackles up. He was now the proud reciever of the 'look' Let's just say, he took another one for the team.
Now our trip co-ordinator is in fits!! He was like one of those characters you see in a play whose sole pupose is to make you feel good about your life. He's always picked upon, things always go wrong, his boss fires him, you get the drift. His rant's never stopped, "Oh no, after we encounter peak traffic time after 6 am!!!! There will be a increased rush in the airport too!!! There is no way we can reach the airport before 7.15"
Figures he was right about all of those things. Now if you've been to the airport ever, you know there's no way that a 100 people can make it from entry point to boarding gate within 5 minutes. A logistical impossiblity! But we're trying anyway, you know. "Let's just get in, we'll take another flight if possible."
14/11/2001
7.20 am
Instruction: no time for any
Any time now we're expecting our flight to take-off without us, while we're still in line for baggage check. We havent even checked in yet and time flies to 7.30 and then 7.40 and the flight's still there, I mean they just keep increasing the boarding time by 10 minutes everytime the deadline is reached!
But as soon as the very first one of us reached the security desk, the lady curtly informed us that we were expected more than an hour ago and she must've triggered of some alarm system 'cause minutes later the head steward from the plane was stomping towards our Principal visibly pissed. "We've had to delay the plane because of you! People have important meetings to attend to, places to be....." And so on...
Apparently the plane was a 100-seater and there were exactly 97 of us, now charter planes can't really fly off without the charterer, can they? :P
To top it all off, the Captain comes to meet us, all smiles and all. "Ah thank goodness you guys are late, I don't think I could've flown that thing without some more sleep. Relax, it's Diwali, no meetings to attend, no places to be!" This guy was the definition of cool....
Mister Steward is red in the face. We got onto our plane just fine. It took of at 9.15am. Did not crash mid-air as feared by some of our teachers (everytime there was turbulence, they went "oh god no oh god no oh god no1") But best of all, my twice-wounded friend and myself came out as the heroes of a tale worth telling!
Adulthood
4 years ago
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